Sunday, September 2, 2012

Hell, I Can Write Better Than That!

The following sentence appeared on's website. Can you tell me what's wrong with it? 

Daniel Loeb, manager of hedge fund Third Point, which owns 5.8 percent of Yahoo, sent another scathing letter to Yahoo's board on Friday, demanding Yahoo CEO Scott Thompson be fired for inflating his academic record by noon on Monday.

If I were Yahoo's CEO, I'd be terribly unsure as to what to do. Should I give in to the demands of this hedge fund manager and inflate my academic record? Will I be able to do it before his Monday deadline?

Also, isn't it incredible that a hedge fund manager can demand the firing of a CEO for something he hasn't even done yet?

This kind of writing error should make you grateful. Your reaction shouldn't be "I can't believe this writer's a professional." It should be, "Wow. I can write way better than that. I'd better get to it."

So get to it.