Sunday, October 21, 2012

What's the Right Number Of Ideas Per Sentence?

From the exceptional book The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier by Bonnie Mills Trenga:

Consider the following four sentences:

1) The officer arrived late for the court hearing.

2) Although the officer had set his alarm, he arrived late for the court hearing.

3) Although the officer had set his alarm, which made piercing siren sound, he arrived late for the court hearing.

4) Although the officer had set his alarm, which made piercing siren sound, he arrived late for the court hearing, at which he was testifying about his role in the bungled stakeout.

It goes without saying that the third and fourth sentences burden the reader with too many ideas at once. But how many ideas, really, can you put in a sentence? What's the right number?

As with most things in writing, it depends. If you were Virginia Woolf or William Faulkner, a high-quality four-idea sentence might be within your capabilities.

But you aren't Woolf or Faulkner. Neither am I. Which means the number of ideas we can safely put in a sentence... is fewer than we think.