Dear QWT: You're missing a gigantic exception to all your stupid and overly-strict grammar rules. What about when writing emails, or casual correspondence? If I followed all your rules, I'd sound like complete tool.
Duh. Of course you'd sound like a tool. Sounding like a tool is the strict grammarian's life purpose. Here at QWT, we're more interested in understanding who your audience is so you can write with an effective and appropriate style.
In fact, during my days in the corporate world, I'd occasionally add grammatical errors (and subtract punctuation and capital letters) to my emails if it would better convey my message. Certain things sound aloof and off-putting when said in too-perfect English.
Know your readers, and speak to them appropriately.
PS: If you really wanted to sound like a tool, you could have written "If I were to follow your rules, I'd sound like a complete tool."
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